To you who I allowed myself to love and who pretended to feel that love.
To you who I twice gave my honesty, trust and hope, only to have them leave my presence in tightly clenched fists.
To you who freely left me your sorrow, pain, misguided anger and regret, to you I say “ I’m not your past, I’ve had no hand in it. I’m not the one you surrender to with every backward glance and cowardly utterance. I’m not the pain you proudly wear as a coat of armor. I’m not the weakness you awkwardly display as fear.”
To you who thought nothing of my love, strength and courage to look beyond circumstances not ideal and see the promise of possibilities.
To you who couldn’t recognize that even though I too have a pass, I too have pain, the pain of my past is not what dictates my future and my choices for now.
To you I say, “I was here, today, with a promise of a future not tied to a past.”
To you I say “I’ve unclenched your fists and taken what’s mine. I won’t let my honesty, trust, hope and love, live in misery with your yesterday. I’m returning your sorrow. I’m returning your pain. I’m returning your misguided anger and regret. They have no value here but to make me a more appealing victim.”
To you I say, “I’ve felt the pain of your departure once before and as I watched you leave this second time, I decided, I won’t feel the same pain twice, I won’t fell it anymore.”
