This is dedicated to my dearest friend in the world, Nicholette and her baby boy, Joshua.

*****

Today I cried for You but more so for her
I know the pain now surging through her is infinitely worst than anything I can imagine
If only I could take her pain away
I wish I could go back a few hours
Back to when she was happy, excited and counting down the days
Can we go back to yesterday?
The day before the emptiness began

I remember where I was when I got the news of You
My heart smiled with joy and excitement
I remember instantly wanting You to be a girl
Because I knew we would get along famously
Your mommy only wanted a healthy You, a You to love unconditionally

We went through names and their meanings; we never picked the one that said,“You”
We have many pictures of You growing in mommy’s tummy
Daddy, uncle, grandma, grandpa and countless others anxiously awaited your arrival
You had tons of fans who came out and showered you repeatedly
We marveled at your mommy’s glowing beauty, even when she thought she looked otherwise
She loved You and happily welcomed all it would take to get You here

I sit here now remembering when You were a part of her
The most important part of her
The part of her she wanted to nurture and watch grow into an amazing You
To my best friend, You are an angel
You had a life and soul
You held promise, hope and had so much love
Now, she’ll never really hold You or see Your smiling face

Even though we didn’t get to meet, You are still a part of all of us
Mommy now knows a love she never thought possible and that’s because of You
We won’t ask why You left us
We won’t cast any blame
We’ll say good-bye with peace and love
You’re mommy’s forever star

-Always and Forever, CNC